Lots of changes this year. Whiz Kid is graduating high school, but still doesn’t have her driver’s license (ouch); I need to get Little Bear his learner’s permit and bank account and all that jazz; the Princess is still very high maintenance; I tried out a second job over the holidays with much success, but it was a relief when it ended too; I met the man I’ve been waiting for all my life; and we’ve unintentionally acquired yet another cat. This one is a little monster named Mickey who we can’t get rid of.
In June of last year, the Princess and I had an opportunity to fly out to Oklahoma and visit my sister’s family. It was a wonderful trip. There were lots of baby chicks to play with, friendly puppies and less friendly cats, a neighborhood to walk in the evenings, the lake and the local pool for swimming, and my sister made the best meal I have ever eaten – homemade pho. It was amazing. The Princess has declared it her favorite place on earth and wants to move there as soon as possible. She also started the curse of women and has unfortunately inherited my endometriosis. Because she can’t take NSAIDs with one of her meds, that has been a real struggle.
In July, my youngest sister was venting to me about the little terror of a kitten she had gotten five weeks earlier in hopes of keeping the mouse infestation at her house under control. She has four young children, and between the wild little kids and the wild little kitten things were not going well. Of his multiple problem behaviors, the worst was jumping into the crib at night and viciously attacking her infant’s foot. I offered to take Mickey until he was old enough to be neutered, so he wouldn’t end up joining the feral cat population. We figured he would settle down and lose his bad habits once he was in a calmer environment. WRONG! This cat is different. He would definitely be diagnosed with some neurological/ behavioral issues and medicated, if he were a human. What an unapologetic little rascal! He is so incredibly soft and silky and affectionate and extremely clever – and vicious and evil. Lol. Although my sister was told he was the last of a litter from an adult cat at the location, all signs point to Mickey being a feral kitten who was taken from his mother much too early and without proper care. He had serious constipation problems for the first 6-8 months and could only be fed wet food with pumpkin. He nursed obsessively on the Princess’s stuffed animals. He panted heavily from even light exertion, not normal at all for a cat; but that didn’t stop him from dashing around the apartment like a total maniac. He ambushed our feet, shredded our hands and arms, terrorized Smidge and drove Shade almost completely outdoors, and grew like a dandelion. And kept growing. At 14 months old he’s a good size cat now, much bigger than Shade and double the size of Smidge, who he has injured on several occasions. His attitude, however, is vast and immeasurable. He’s long and tall with big paws, medium length fur and a long tail, and when scolded he lays his ears back and sashays away with his long body sinuating arrogantly, like a true narcissist. It’s both hilarious and annoying. We haven’t been able to find him a new home or give him to a shelter because of his aggression, so we keep him outdoors as much as possible now. He climbs trees like a champion, lays in the middle of the driveway like a dog and refuses to move for cars until the last second, and routinely murders the local wildlife. Grrrrr. He’s smart as a whip except for having no fear, loves attention, hates all other animals, and tries to kill anything his own size or smaller. What was I thinking? But at least he’s neutered and vaccinated. *facepalm*
Also in July, the PFA against the kids’ dad expired and I renewed it for 6 months just for the Princess. I wanted Whiz Kid and Bear to be able to visit if they wanted. My hope was that Whiz Kid would have a driver’s license soon and be able to facilitate visits without me, but that didn’t happen. I’m still the family chauffeur. And I still hate the sight of him.
The name change process went smoothly. The licensing, not so much. Whiz Kid has some vision issues that make depth perception a real problem, and failed the road test three times, so we scrapped the licensing temporarily and did the name change first. Now she isn’t much interested in trying again, and it’s becoming a pain. She needs to be self-sufficient in her transportation. She graduates in two weeks and needs to get a full-time job, and I can’t be driving her around.
Back in October, I decided to volunteer with the Post Prom committee in order to give me something to do away from the apartment, since dating wasn’t going well. They didn’t really get into the serious work until February. In the meantime, I took a second job working weekends to bring in extra income for the holidays. It went great, kept me distracted and busy and out of the house for the dull months and provided enough income not to fall behind over the holidays; but it was most definitely not sustainable. I was glad to be finished with it.
In January, the extended PFA expired and I encouraged the Princess to come along with her siblings and visit her dad at that point. He’s still living with his mom, still using, still lying, still hasn’t been sent back to jail despite numerous parole violations. Still hasn’t changed one single little bit. But he had also been narcanned twice in recent months and I was getting concerned that he might OD permanently before she had a chance to see him again, leaving her to blame me for her lack of closure. I’m not sure it was the right thing to do; I guess only time will tell, in the end. Seeing him again seemed to upset all the progress of the past two years and she went back to self-harming and acting crazy. Things deteriorated at school and ultimately, she’s finishing out the school year in the outpatient program again. Ugh. We’ll see how the summer and the transition to Middle School in the fall will go. Her doctor just recently prescribed a pain medication she can take during her period that should help with the severe cramping, and hopefully that will help since all of her worst behaviors seem to manifest during that week.
Meanwhile, Post Prom got underway and I tried to get there at least a couple of nights per week to help out. Whiz Kid wasn’t sure she would participate in Prom at all, but the school has helped us a lot and I wanted to give back. Of course, the Princess’s mounting problems made keeping up with the work difficult. I wasn’t able to put in as much time as I’d hoped, and I won’t be participating again this year like I planned to. I know I can’t participate when Bear comes up in 2025, because there’s another kid coming up in his grade who is a serious predator, and that kid’s parents volunteer for everything school related. I will not work with them. It’s bad enough seeing the little hellspawn everywhere at school events. Like all actively hunting predators, he and his family involve themselves in everything they possibly can in order to build their own network of supporters. Foul trash. Anyway, somehow everything still got done and Whiz Kid decided to attend Prom and Post Prom after all. To my delight, she ended up reconnecting with the girl she had attended the 8th Grade dance with, her first real date; and they hung out the whole night. They hadn’t seen each other during high school, due partly to COVID and virtual schooling, and now they’re keeping in touch. I’m so happy.
And then there’s the man of my dreams. Around the end of March, I started talking to a guy on Plenty of Fish and we hit it off right away. It seemed too good to be true, but after seeing each other for about eight weeks I already can’t imagine my life without him. He’s kind of crazy, but so am I; our crazy mixes well and that’s what matters. We have so much fun together no matter what we do. For the first time in my life, I have someone who wants to spend time with me as much as I want to spend time with him. I can’t believe I was ever willing to settle for simply being allowed to hang out with someone. He’s not just as active as me, he’s as active as I would like to be, haha. I plan to introduce him to the kids this month.
Oh right, and my youngest brother is getting married this weekend to his longtime girlfriend who we all love, but especially the Princess, and they’re moving in next door. Yayyyy! 2023 is turning out to be a good year in spite of everything. I feel happy to be alive for the first time that I can remember.
